Gay Dads Australia

Surrogacy for Gay Men Forum - Report

2011-11-06T21:14:00.001+11:00

On Saturday, 5 November 80 men (and a few women) gathered at the JOY 94.9 Studios in Melbourne for the 8th Surrogacy for Gay Men Community Forum. Melbourne turned on a glorious day for the participant who came from Melbourne, rural Victoria, Queensland, ACT, New South Wales and even flying in from as far away as Singapore. Some guys had already started the journey to fatherhood but the majority were just beginning and this forum was their first step along the road to becoming a dad. The forum, in it's 8th year, has grown from a handful of gay men 8 years ago to a room busting at the seams. The forum is organised by the gay dad volunteers from Gay Dads Australia and this year was hosted at JOY 94.9, who generously donated use of their function room to help us accomodate the growing number of gay guys wanting to learn more about becoming dads via surrogacy.

The topics covered in the forum included altruistic surrogacy in Victoria, ACT, New South Wales and Queensland as well as commercial surrogacy in the USA, India and Thailand. It was great to have both Sam Everingham and Adrian Perillo as presenters at the forum. Their personal stories were incredibly powerful and inspiring.

As one of the organisers, I was excited and impressed with the number of gay men who are keen to become dads. The word is out to the gay community in Australia. You can be a father, you can pursue that dream of parenthood. Being gay is not a barrier. Of course, becoming a dad via surrogacy is not a simple course to follow, but ultimately for gay men it is one of the few options available to have a family. I found myself asking why has it become so popular. The answers are quite simple. Gay men are no different than straight men in their desire to be parents, there is a real and passionate desire to have a family for many gay men. The popularity of the forum comes form the fact that our families are now so visible to the gay and straight community. Our families and our stories are in newspapers, on television, on radio. From the SBS documentary "Two Men and a Baby" 8 years ago about Tony and Lee, a melbourne couple who created their family via surrogacy to more recently, Adrian and his partner Ralph who bravely and publicly took the GLBTI community through the pregnancy and birth of their two gorgeous children on the Andy and Adrian breakfast show on JOY 94.9.

When we packed up and left the JOY studios on Saturday, my husband Jeff said that he was overwhelmed by the enthusiasm of the guys that came along. Everyone had a story of their desire to be parents. Like Jeff, I was excited to see the next generation of gay dads coming together. The baby boom for gay men is here and it is only going to get bigger.

Rodney Chiang-Cruise

Co-Moderator

Gay Dads Australia

The Modern (Gay) Family - circa 1850

2011-10-01T19:17:00.001+10:00

[Australia] – Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study – by Jason Tuazon-McCheyne – Volume 31 Issue 4

2010-12-31T17:35:00.002+11:00

Jason Tuazon-McCheyne, who is one of the best known Surro-Dads in Australia, has just had his paper “Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study” published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy (ANZJFT). The abstract follows and a copy of the paper is attached. This is a very interesting read and represents one of the very few pieces of academic studies done in Australia in to gay male parents (via surrogacy). Well done Jason, I know what an amazing amount of work went into this paper.

Australian gay men have only recently become parents through surrogacy arrangements. They have had to overcome a discriminatory legal, social, political, cultural and financial environment. A cooperative inquiry action research group was formed, with seven two-father families conceived via surrogacy, to explore their journey to parenthood and their consequent politicisation as gay fathers. This article reveals how that experience of the cooperative inquiry process strengthened their resolve to be intentionally ‘out’ in their communities to overcome discriminatory and conservative social attitudes. They embraced the political reality of their parenting and were stimulated to create improved support structures for themselves and future parents. This transformed the legal, social, political and cultural environment for their families.

[Source: Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study - By Jason Tuazon-McCheyne]
Download Paper

[Australia] - Organising Work and Home in Same-Sex Parented Families: Findings From the Work Love Play Study - THE AUSTRALIAN AND NEW ZEALAND JOURNAL OF FAMILY THERAPY - Volume 31 Number 4 2010 pp. 374–391

2010-12-31T11:35:00.001+11:00

The full report on "Organising Work and Home in Same-Sex Parented Families: Findings From the Work Love Play Study" has been published:

In this article we present findings from the Work, Love and Play (WLP) study: a survey completed by 445 same-sex attracted parents across Australia and New Zealand. Comparisons of household division of labour are made between a sub-sample of WLP participants, who were currently cohabiting with a same-sex partner (n = 317), and 958 cohabiting opposite-sex parents surveyed as part of a major Australian study, Negotiating the Life Course. This comparison showed that same-sex couples divided household labour significantly more equally than heterosexual parents, and lesbian couples also shared parenting tasks more equally. Qualitative findings from the WLP study indicate that, for many same-sex couples, major decisions around who gives up paid work and how many hours parents choose to work, as well as decisions around work/family balance, are negotiated on the basis of couple’s preferences and circumstance rather than an assump- tion that one parent will be the primary child carer. It is speculated that this finding highlights an important point of difference between same-sex couples and heterosexual couples where the division of household labour is often based on the assumption that the mother will almost always be the primary child carer and homemaker. The research is a collaborative partnership between La Trobe University, Deakin University, The University of Melbourne, and Relationships Australia Victoria.

[Source: Original Paper]

[Australia] - Sydney Morning Herald - "Religious charities putting doctrine above children's interests" by Jen Vuk

2010-12-30T09:16:00.001+11:00

The worst harm is done by refusing to allow same-sex couples to foster.
It was with a heavy heart that I read of a landmark ruling earlier this month that gives religious charities the freedom to ban gay foster parents.
The New South Wales Administrative Decisions Tribunal found that Wesley Dalmar Services, the foster-care arm of Wesley Mission, was within its rights to knock back a gay couple who applied in the early 2000s to become foster carers, because their "lifestyle was not in keeping with the beliefs and values of Wesleyanism".
The charity, a part of the Uniting Church assembly, had successfully argued that its decision was necessary to circumvent damage to its "religious susceptibilities".
As far as rulings go, it was a classic case of exploiting a loophole. The tribunal intimated that its hands were tied due to "the very broad exemptions in the Anti-Discrimination Act relating to religious groups".
Following the passing of the Equal Opportunity Bill in Victoria this year, which allows religious groups to continue to discriminate on the basis of "sexuality or marital status if it is in accordance with their beliefs", the NSW directive is clearly portentous for Victorian gay couples hoping to foster.
Of course, it is a grave disservice to tar all Christian foster-care agencies with the same bias. Uniting Care Burnside, part of the Uniting Church, has long held progressive attitudes towards homosexuality, as has Barnardos. Both have a non-discriminatory policy when looking for safe environments in which to place foster children.
Wesley Mission belongs to a Methodist order of the Uniting Church. It has a long and worthy history of social justice, but the central tenet of its orthodoxy, that marriage between a man and a woman is the cornerstone of family, sits uneasily in a contemporary world.
As many civil liberties groups have been quick to point out, charities such as Wesley that rely on government funding should not be allowed to show such prejudice. It is likely to become more of an issue in NSW over the next four years, as private agencies take over all the foster-care programs run by the Department of Community Services.
But there is something else amiss here, and it's a trap ready-made for religious charity groups. By putting its charter ahead of its charges, Wesley Mission undermines its mission. While it may indeed have the legislative right to discriminate, the only time it should exercise that right is when a child - and not its doctrine - is at risk.
Furthermore, I can't understand how a charity can so easily turn a blind eye to the fact that we have long been crying out for foster carers.
In 2005, lobby group the Australian Foster Care Association warned that foster care in Australia was at a crossroads. It urged states and territories to work together to improve "their recruitment strategies to increase the number of foster carers" and put strategies in place to retain them.
And with good reason. Foster care isn't for the faint-hearted. In addition to the logistical hoops prospective carers are required to jump through (such as police checks and working-with-children checks), different agencies have their own criteria.
While there is some financial recompense for carers, it isn't a patch on the physical, emotional and spiritual investment of welcoming an often damaged little stranger into your home.
Just think, on the one hand you are encouraged to support and bond with the child. On the other, you must be prepared to let them go, sometimes at a moment's notice, and knowing the cycle of abuse and neglect will most likely begin anew. Surely, this is the biggest ask of all.
Over the past year, it was estimated that about 34,000 children moved in and out of state care, and the number is growing. For the lucky few - and they are few - there is a happy ending.
Eight years ago, a young sister and brother arrived at the door of Silke Bader and her partner, Tanya Sale. Now aged 11 and 12, the two siblings have had the kind of safe and secure upbringing their 10 brothers and sisters could only dream about.
As Bader told The Sydney Morning Herald: "The argument over same-sex adoption is whether the couples are suitable . . . in this case we certainly stand out as being more suitable."
Earlier this year, after surveying several children placed with same-sex couples, a NSW parliamentary inquiry found that, above all else, "stability and security" were crucial in fostering a child's development. The findings led to the same-sex adoption bill being passed in September.
This is why the latest ruling seems not only curious but retrogressive. While definition of family is constantly evolving, one thing remains forever the same: every child has a right to be loved.
Surely it's time we put children's rights where they belong - above and beyond all others.
Jen Vuk is a freelance writer.

Gay Dads Australia

Surrogacy for Gay Men Forum - Report

The Modern (Gay) Family - circa 1850

[Australia] – Two Dads: Gay Male Parenting and its Politicisation — A Cooperative Inquiry Action Research Study – by Jason Tuazon-McCheyne – Volume 31 Issue 4

[Australia] - Organising Work and Home in Same-Sex Parented Families: Findings From the Work Love Play Study - THE AUSTRALIAN AND NEW ZEALAND JOURNAL OF FAMILY THERAPY - Volume 31 Number 4 2010 pp. 374–391

[Australia] - Sydney Morning Herald - "Religious charities putting doctrine above children's interests" by Jen Vuk

[United Kingdom] - The Telegraph - "Britain's first gay surrogate parents to open surrogacy centre for same-sex couples" by Laura Roberts

[Australia] - Sydney Morning Herald - "Gay parents are more equal than others" by Adele Horin

[United Kingdom] - Huffington Post - "Elton John, David Furnish Have Son Via Surrogate"

[Australia - New South Wales] - The Australian - "Politicians refuse to act after churches win right to discriminate against gay foster parents"

[Australia - New South Wales] - Sydney Morning Herald - "Gay foster care ban divides Uniting Church" by AAP

[Australian - New South Wales] - NineMSN - "No need to change foster laws: O'Farrell"

[Australia - New South Wales] - Sydney Morning Herald - "Gays can still foster kids, DoCS says" by AAP

[Australia - New South Wales] – The Daily Telegraph – “Church free to ban gay foster parents” by Joe Hilderbrand

[South Africa] IOL News - "Triumph for gay couple" By Omphitlehtse Mooki

[Israel] The Jerusalum Post - "Legal ruling will allow gay men to adopt partner’s child" by Ruth Eglash

Tasmanian Government - "Consultation on Bill to Legalise Surrogacy"

Sydney Morning Herald – “Body language said it all – first same-sex couple to adopt in NSW are great dads” by Kim Arlington COURTS

Courier Mail - "Grandmother says she was 'passed over' as foster parent for her grandchildren in favour of gay couple" by Des Houghton

Courier Mail - “Gay couple first in Queensland to have child under altruistic surrogacy laws” by Sophie Elsworth

The West Australian - “Perth man pays $50,000 to Indian Surrogate” by Cathy O’Leary

Channel 7 – Sunrise – Gay Dads Steve and Lee

That's Life - Meet the Real Modern Family - June 2010

Rainbow Families Council - Federal Election Statement

Towleroad - “250 Million Now Living in Places that Recognise Gay Marriage”

SBS Radio - “The question of same-sex adoption”

Brisbane Times - “Argentina legalizes gay marriage in LatAm first”

ABC Far North Queensland - “Two Dads are Better Than One” by Sam Davis

Not So Private Lives: National findings on the relationships and well-being of same-sex attracted Australians

The Wheeler Centre - “Rodney Croome – The Case for Gay Marriage”

Gay Dads National Conference -18th and 19th September 2010 in Melbourne.

Hindustan Times - “Surrogacy not for married couples only: Draft law” by Satya Prakash

Gay Dads through Surrogacy – Blog Collection

Southern Star - “Adoption Battle Underway” by Andie Noonan

VARTA – Victorian Altruistic Surrogacy Forum – 8 September 2010

Revisiting the 2007 Victorian Law Reform Commission Report on Same Sex Adoption by Rodney Cruise

Southern Star - “Gay Adoption by Year’s End” (NSW) by Andrew Potts

Southern Star - “Fostering with Care” by Nick Bond

Stonewall - UK Research on "Different Families" - The experiences of children with lesbian and gay parents

Sydney Morning Herald – “Archaic Attitudes Leave Children Out in the Cold” by Senthorun Raj

The Australian - “Birth of a booming baby industry” by Amanda Hodge

SMH - “Thinking men and women need clear conscience on gay adoption“ by Lisa Prior

MCV - “Home is where the heart is” by Andrew Shaw

QNews - “Gay Dads Australia” by Jonathan Duffy

US National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study, Pediatrics, 7 June 10

New Study - Gay Fathers Day: Two-Dad Families Doing Well in Transition to Parenthood

Test

Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog – “Qld Surrogacy Laws Start Tuesday” by Stephen Page

Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog - “Top 10 guide for lesbian partners being named on children's birth certificates in Queensland” by Stephen Page

Wrap Up – The 5th Surrogacy for Gay Men forum – Prahran, Victoria, Australia

Hindustan Times – “Gay Couples may not be allowed to hire surrogates in country” by Neha Bhayana

Southern Star – “Gay Dads Forum Offers Help” by Andie Noonan

The Cairns Post - “Lesbian couple shares baby joy” by Ben Blomfield

Sydney Morning Herald - “Complex Surrogacy Laws to be Untangled” by Joel Gibson

Time to Tell Seminar – Presented by VARTA

Sydney Morning Herald - “Babies left in limbo as India struggles with demand for surrogacy” by Matt Wade

Sydney Morning Herald - “Indian IVF bill may stop gay couple surrogacy” by Matt Wade and Conrad Walters

Guardian - “Couples who pay surrogate mothers could lose the right to raise their child” by Denis Campbell

The Guardian – UK - “New surrogacy law eases the way for gay men to become legal parents” by Robin McKie

The Age - “Beyond the straight and narrow” by Jacqueline Tomlins

I do, I do: Now you're married, now you're not

Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog –“Surrogacy: Family Court Guide” by Stephen Page

Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog “Federal Government hasn't warned about surrogacy risks” by Stephen Page

Press Release - “Babies Born to HIV-Positive Growing Generations Surrogacy Clients to Double in 2010” by Growing Generations

Brisbane Times – “Surrogacy reforms should not exclude gay couples: group” by AAP

Courier Mail - “Surrogacy Bill 'could lead to same-sex parenting'” by Rosemary Odgers and Margaret Wenham

News.com.au - “Australian Christian Lobby want gays banned from surrogacy” by AAP

Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog - “Surrogacy Guide: State by State” by Stephen Page

Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog - “Australian adoption guidelines” by Stephen Page

Stephen Page from Harrington Family Lawyers, Brisbane, who is one of my favourite bloggers on all thing Gay/Lesbian Law in Australia, has put together a rather excellent summary of Adoption guidelines in Australia.

It highlights the not-so-good nature of them for Gays and Lesbians in most states but provides a great overview. Thanks Stephen.

ABC Online - “Adoption double standards rile locals” by Annie Guest

Foreign country adoptions

'Stolen children' scandal

Herald Sun - “Non-birth parents can now be named on birth certificates” by Sally Bennett

Sydney Morning Herald - “Gay Adoption Ban to Stay” by Brian Robins

Sydney Morning Herald - “Dark cloud to fertility act's silver lining” by Jen Vuk

Sydney Morning Herald - “Court upholds parenting orders for lesbian partner” by Kim Arlington

ABC Online - “Surrogacy should not be open to gays: Family Association” by Katherine Spackman

ABC Online - “Lesbian Mothers get Retrospective Recognition”