Sydney Star Observer - "Love makes a family, but what makes a dad?"

Slowly but surely the stereotypes of gay life are dissolving around us and being replaced with the same modern issues confronted by everyone else.

Renovating the house, planning that special holiday, preparing for a new addition to the family. No, not a puppy or a cat but a child, or even several children.

These days we are faced more and more with members of the GLBT community settling down, living in suburbia and wanting to do as many other suburban couples do — raise a family. This is getting easier than it was — and more commonplace than you think. Gay dads are everywhere — you probably even know one or two.

Now as we all know, Love makes a family, but what makes a Dad? Any sperm donor can be a biological father but being a “dad” takes something more.

There are co-parent dads who share the day-to-day care and raising of their child(ren) with their child’s mum or mums, committed to working together to see their child become an adult.

Some are single men and others are couples, some of the mums are lesbian, others not. Some have gone for IVF and others just the good old turkey baster. It covers the full spectrum.

There are surrogate dads who have gone though thousands of dollars, lots of forms and tests and travelled to other parts of the world to have a woman bear their child (usually from an unknown egg donor), who are raising their children by themselves or with their partners, with the support of those around them.

Fostering is another way some gay men become dads, sometimes part-time, sometimes for a long time.

Hopefully soon in NSW we can add adoption as a couple to the list. It’s certainly permitted elsewhere and single men can currently adopt.

Of course there are also the same-sex attracted men who either are or were once married and who have had children “the old-fashioned way”. While they face challenges in coming out to the family and discovering and accepting their sexuality, they too are active dads who love and care for their children.

GayDadsNSW group is a social network and support group for gay men who are or want to become dads.

Not just sperm donors but dads, with all the dirty nappies, sleepless nights and unconditional love that comes with raising a child in a loving, supportive, safe environment.

The group meets for an informal dinner on the first Monday of the month at the Bank Hotel in Newtown.

We also regularly hold information nights where people can come and hear experiences, ask questions and learn more about being a dad.

If you would like to know more about gay dads in Australia you can go to www.gaydadsaustralia.com.

info:“LOVE makes a Family, but what makes a DAD?”
Date: Monday 23 February
Venue: Twenty10 offices, 43 Bedford St, Newtown
Time: 7pm
There will be a number of speakers on different aspects of parenting and time to ask questions.
Please RSVP to GaydadsNSW-owner@yahoogroups.com so we know how many people to expect.
For additional information please contact Anthony Brien on 0405 147 968 or at ajbrien@gmail.com

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