Saturday, April 27, 2013

[USA] - Letter to Editor - Parenting Team of Two Mothers has Benefited Family

A great letter to the Westerly Sun in Connecticut a Shane Irwin about how wonderful it is having two mothers.

[Source: Westerly Sun]

Let me tell you my story. I am a 26-year-old male. I have worked since I was 14 years old and have an excellent career. I live on my own (and have since I was 18), and have worked very hard for everything I have today in my life. I am a well-adjusted, normal, hard-working young adult. A lot of this I credit to my parents for how I was raised. So you would think I have a great mother and father, right? Well, wrong. I now have two phenomenal mothers.

My mother and father were married until I was about 9. I do not remember one good thing from their relationship when I was a kid. Not one. After my mother and father divorced, my mom and I had only each other to lean on. She worked non-stop to provide a good life for me. Was it hard for her and I? Of course! However, I wouldn’t change it for anything. It made both of us the strong, independent people we are today.

She came out to me when I was 15. I was the last person to know that she and this woman we have become very close to were now a couple. But my mom was so happy and excited about her new relationship. Shortly thereafter, they went to Vermont and had a civil union, as that was all that was legal 10 years ago. Together as a parenting team, raising my sister and me, they have been the best parents a kid could ask for. They are no different than a “traditional” couple parenting their children. 

There’s always one you can butter up to give you whatever you wanted, and then there’s the other that is stern and overturns all the decisions. Typical, right? Nothing out of the ordinary there.

Here’s the kicker. I am also gay. I knew I was gay long before my mother ever told me she was gay. I was struggling as a young teenager about who I was as a person. I did not choose to be gay, and at that time in my life, I did not want to be gay. Being gay was a negative thing; it brought shame by many. I felt like I did something wrong. But all these feelings were just what society makes you believe. Once my mom came out to me and showed me how strong she was as a person and how she did not care about what others felt, it was only then that I had the courage to come out to my family and friends. She paved the way for me to be who I am.

If it wasn’t for the two of them being my parents together, I can honestly say I do not believe I would be the person I am today. I work hard. I pay my taxes. I volunteer in my community. I am a regular, ordinary person walking down the street. I just so happen to be gay and have gay parents. That does not make me any different than someone with straight parents. The only thing that makes us different is the fact that my moms cannot share their health benefits. They cannot visit each other in the hospital if one of them is ill. They cannot inherit the other’s estate if, God forbid, something should happen to one of them.

One day, hopefully soon, I look forward to seeing them get married. This time legally in the state of Rhode Island. They deserve that happiness to say that the state recognizes them as a married couple, and they will get all the benefits that straight couples do.

So in the end, did my mom being gay ruin our family? Simple answer, no. It strengthened it.

[Source: Westerly Sun]

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